Friday, January 15, 2010

Funny Dance Quotes

“Can't act. Can't sing. Balding. Can dance a little.”
(Evaluation of Fred Astaire's very first screen test)

Toe dancing is a dandy attention getter, second only to screaming.
Agnes deMille

"No touching!"
Anonymous ballroom couple overheard saying this while practicing for Standard (where you have to maintain body contact the entire time)

"Gentlemen, remember the 15 second rule. When the music stops, you have 15 seconds to escort your partner back to her seat. If you're too slow, the music will start again and you'll be stuck for another dance."
Anonymous dance teacher addressing the class

A good dancer has the posture that can say 'I have presence, and you are dirt'; especially when they forget to smile.
Author Unknown

About balance: Cranes stand on one leg, but cannot dance a step.
Author Unknown

A man who dances has his choice of romances.
Author Unknown

Beginning dancer: knows nothing. Intermediate dancer: knows everything; too good to dance with beginners. Hotshot dancer: too good to dance with anyone. Advanced dancer: dances everything… especially with beginners.
Author Unknown

Dancers and musicians have always counted music differently. There is a cute anecdote about Stravinsky yelling at Nijinsky, "There is no 27 in my music!"
Author Unknown

He: "Can I have the last dance with you?" She: "You are having it!"
Author Unknown

If dancing were any easier it would be called football.
Author Unknown

It's not the turning that’s hard in pirouettes, it's that you gotta keep on doin' it.
Author Unknown

Lesser dancers stumble; better dancers syncopate.
Author Unknown

Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels!
Author Unknown

The Ballet toe shoe is one of the few instruments of torture to survive intact into our time.
Author Unknown

What if doing the hokey pokey IS what it is all about?
Author Unknown

You can't make a pointe if you don't understand the details.
Author Unknown

The forms of tango are like stages of a marriage. The American tango is like the beginning of a love affair, when you're both very romantic and on your best behavior. The Argentine tango is when you're in the heat of things and all kinds of emotions are flying: passion, anger, humor. The International tango is like the end of the marriage, when you're staying together for the sake of the children.
Barbara Garvey

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
Bob Hope

If their feet aren't in the right place, at least their hearts are.
Christian M. Chensvold (on novice swingers)

Dancing is a wonderful training for girls. It's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it.
Christopher Morley

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.

Discourse on virtue and they pass by in droves. Whistle and dance the shimmy and you've got an audience.

I just put my feet on the ground and move them around.
Fred Astaire

About a year ago I took up line dancing. I got so into it I had to join a Self help group to stop. It's a TWO STEP program.
Frederick J. Boenig

I got started dancing because I knew that was one way to meet girls.
Gene Kelly

Part of the joy of dancing is conversation. Trouble is, some men can't talk and dance at the same time.
Ginger Rogers

Carpe Dancem (seize the dance)
Heather Diadoti

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
Jack Handey

We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.
Japanese Proverb

No move is too tricky; no spin too excessive… for my partner.
John Hayes

Ballroom Dancing just gets more exciting the more you know about it, which is why you have to do well at school so you can spend the rest of your life supporting your habit!
Kay Teague

Some people march to a different drummer... and some people Polka.
Los Angeles Times Syndicate

There are only two places where indiscriminate hugging is tolerated; the brothel and the ballroom.
M.A. Ham

Dancing is like a shower: one wrong turn and you're in hot water!
Mad Magazine

Never trust spiritual leader who cannot dance.
Mr. Miyagi

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Rita Rudner

Draw a crazy picture
Write a nutty poem
Sing a mumble-gumble song
Whistle through your comb
Do a loony-goony dance
'Cross the kitchen floor
Put something silly in the world
That ain't been there before
Shel Silverstien

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport.
Vince Lombardi

The girl who can't dance says the band can't play.
Yiddish Proverb

My feet are dogs.
More funny Rudolf Nureyev quotes

The one thing that can solve most of our problems is dancing.
More funny James Brown quotes

Dancing is a sweat job.
More funny Fred Astaire quotes

A good education is usually harmful to a dancer. A good calf is better than a good head.
More funny Agnes de Mille quotes

Ballet: Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.
More funny Robin Williams quotes

I'm not a ballerina. I'm a hoofer.
More funny Leslie Caron quotes

I felt that I didn't want to be in show business anymore. I felt that I wanted to be a farmer. I was milking cows and shoveling terrible stuff and working all day. By the end of the day, all I wanted was my tap shoes - I thought, 'What am I doing? I better get back where I belong on the stage where we work at night and can sleep late!
More funny Gregory Hines quotes

Modern dancing is old fashioned.
More funny Samuel Goldwyn quotes

I told some school chums I could dance as good as Fred Astaire. And they asked me, if I was that great, why didn't I get into a show? I said I would, so I got myself a job in a show and here I am.
More funny June Allyson quotes

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